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A man was sitting at the bar in
a watering hole whose selling point was that it
was on top of the largest skyscraper in town.
Another man
walks in and asks the bartender for
a Jack Daniel's.
He downs it, and then takes a running leap out
the window. Much to everybody's surprise, he
floats back up and climbs through the window
back into the bar.
The man at the bar is amazed and asks the man
how he did it.
"Easy," says the man. "Outside
this window are some very strong wind
currents
which can carry you back to the
window."
"Wow," says the man at the bar.
"I gotta try this." He takes a running
leap out the window and falls to a horrible,
bloody, and flat death.
"Geez, Superman," says the bartender.
"You can be a real a jerk when you're
drunk."."
"Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice?" --Patton Oswalt
Your
Weather Now! Check
before you plan your evening or weekend!
DUI Enforcement
One night, a police officer was
staking out a particularly rowdy bar for
possible drunk drivers. At
closing time he saw a fellow stumble out of the
bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five
different cars before he found his. Then he sat
in the front seat
fumbling around with his keys for
several minutes. Everyone left the bar and drove
off. Finally, he started his engine and began to
pull away.
The police officer was waiting for him. He
stopped the driver, read him his rights and
administered a Breathalyzer test. The results
showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer
demanded to know how that could be.
The
driver replied, ''Tonight, I'm the designated
decoy.
The best beer drinking story ever?
From the State where drink driving is considered a sport, comes a true story from the Sunshine Coast, Queensland. Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a local neighborhood tavern. Late in the evening the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so intoxicated that he could barely walk. The man stumbled around the car park for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed a eternity and trying his keys on five vehicles, the man managed to find his car which he fell into. He was there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine dry night), flicked the indicators on and off, tooted the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained stationary for a few more minutes as more patrons left in their vehicles. At last he pulled out of the car park and started to drive slowly down! the road.The police officer, having patiently waited
all this time, now started up the patrol car, put
on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over
and carried out a Breathalyzer test. To his
amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence
of the man having consumed alcohol at all!
Dumbfounded, the officer said "I'll have to
ask you to accompany me to the Police station
this Breathalyzer equipment must be
broken."
"I doubt it," said the man,
"Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
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